Turd of the Week (2001)

#

Date

Name

Affiliation

Accomplishment
79 Jan 1 SBS6 TV urinalists Craven government toadies
80 Jan 6 Eurico Miranda Vasco VP / Brazil Congressman Would be mass murderer
81 Jan 13 Don Garber Prãsident Major Laughing Stock Promoting Ivan Gazidis. Really. We’re not lying.
82 Jan 27 Luis ‘el Mierdador’ Hernandez Ivan Gazidis’s bitch daddy TCFKACONCACAF Cup no show
83 Feb 3 Michael Lewis Soccer ‘journalist’ Sucking up to Ivan Gazidis
84 Feb 10 UEFA Fat, rich white guys Sending Brann to the back of the bus
85 Feb 17 Umbro Kit pushers Wiping with Celtic shirt
86 Feb 24 Referee Magazine &
Judge C.N. Clevert		 Crybabies &
Dumbass		 Ludicrous lawsuit &
Ludicrous decision
87 Mar 3 Luis ‘el Mierdador’ Hernandez Mexican international striker Taking position literally
88 Mar 10 BigSoccer.com Big Brother Spamming censors
89 Mar 24 Mexico Pendejo’s Cheating to win
90 Mar 31 Position Vacant
91 Apr 14 Australia Big fish in small pond Beating team of deaf, dumb & blind quadraplegic kids 31-0 (Or was it 32?)
92 Apr 21 Sepp Blatter Impotent FIFA potentate Whoring the World Cup
93 May 5 Craig Demmin TB Mutiny defender Attempted murder
94 May 12 MFLS Fantasy soccer game Allowing ex post facto trading
95 May 26 Soccer America American soccer magazine Now they’re slow and infrequent
96 Jun 2 UEFA European football potentates Proposing wage cap for players
97 Jun 9 Soccer Coaches Hyper-controlling hypocrites Bitching & moaning
98 Jun 16 Soccer America Dying American soccermagazine buttwipe Late more often than a 16-year old cheerleader
99 Jun 23 Gerhard Aigner Boot licking UEFAcrat Going above & beyond in larding on massive numbers of referees per match
100 Jul 21 Sepp Blatter Incompetent FIFA ninny Turd of the Century
101 Jul 28 Tim-MAY! Krause Lawyer, developer, mayoral butt buddy Selling Milwaukee down its polluted river
102 Aug 11 Steve Ryan MISL (ne’ NPSL) commissioner Swallowing single-entity schlong
103 Aug 18 Don Garber Prãsident Major Laughing Stock Clinton-Nixon wannabe
104 Aug 25 UEFA Bloated overlords of European football Disrespecting AS Roma
105 Sep 1 Off Duty Spanish Cop Murderer *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* Stop, or I’ll shoot!
106 Sep 8 USA Defense Impersonating footballers Come on baby, let’s do the twist!
107 Sep 22 Position Vacant
108 Sep 29 Anonymous Swedish Player Prison cigarette whore A better hook than Ingemar Johansson
109 Oct 13 Mark Abbott MLS senior vice president Kissing Rat ass
110 Oct 20 John Norquist Milwaukee mayor Robbing from the grave of bad ideas
111 Oct 27 Kieran Whelan &
Ken Stasik		 Soccer dads Picking on people not their own size
112 Nov 3 Big Mouth Asshole Parents (BMAPs) Touchline experts Once again, putting their ego before kids’ enjoyment
113 Nov 17 LA Coliseum Commission Decaying edifice Suing to succeed
114 Nov 24 John Kluge & Stuart Subotnick Former Metros investor-operators Six bumbling years
115 Dec 1 Larry Miller Long Island Junior Soccer League Spammer
116 Dec 8 Major League Soccer Rapidly dwindling league Reaping fruit from the poison tree
117 Dec 15 Leeds United Numerous Felons League – Europe Violent, drunken, hypocritic whingers

2001 Turd of the Year